Coffee orders

I enjoy a good coffee and I enjoy going out for a good coffee. But despite my knowledge of the basic orders (cappuccino, latte, soy chai, etc etc) I am not a coffee connoisseur. However just for fun sometimes I like testing the barristas (particularly the know it all ones) and ordering a “flat black” or a “skim espresso” or some other concoction I have just made up on the spot. Then comes the most satisfying part when they look confused or even better and ask me how to make one, and I reply:

“Don’t worry about, I’ll just have a cappuccino”.